Monday, July 28, 2014

Top things Territorians NEVER say

 
Recently in the NT News I came across this article and it was so true and funny
that I thought I'd share it with you.  If you've lived in the Territory for any length
of time, you'll so relate to some of these. (Not the beer ones, of course)
I had to censor some of them, so pay no attention to the numbers being mixed up
or the spacing or the indenting etc etc, my computer has it in for me
and often has a mind of its own!!
 
Remember, these are thing that are NEVER said!!
 
16.I'm uncertain if this car will last the journey
 
17.I reckon one carton will be too many
18.These thongs are worn out, better throw them away
 
1. Mate, I think you should read the instructions on those fireworks.
 
2. Living in the Territory is really affordable.
 
3. Let’s go swimming!
 
4. There really isn’t enough crocodiles in the Territory.
 
5. That esky looks way too big.
 
6. Should I wear a tie?
 
8. I think I have a drinking problem.
 
9. I should use some antiperspirant.
 
10. You’re underdressed.
 
11. You’re overdressed.
 
12. You’re not dressed.
 
13. Let’s just catch the bus.
 
14. I’ll just leave the door unlocked.
 
15. I wish we had Melbourne’s weather.
33. Should we buy a parking ticket?
 
34. That duct tape will never hold.
 
35. The council will get that fixed ASAP.
 
36. Mate you should stand well back from those fireworks.
 
37. It’s too hot for a beer today.
 
38.Officer I think the flares are out of date on my boat
 would you mind checking them for me?
 
17. We don’t need an airconditioner.
 
18. Our politicians are a trustworthy lot.
 
19. I watched a really interesting program on the ABC last night.
 
20. What would southerners think?
 
21. I think I’ll give the fireworks a miss this year.
 
23. Sorry mate, I can’t go fishing because the wife wants me to do some chores.
 
24. But what if they find out I’m not really sick?
 
25. Please don’t get in the ute tray, it could be dangerous.
 
26. Sorry, I don’t have enough seatbelts to fit an extra person in the car.
 
27. Nah don’t bother with the jumping crocodiles.
  
Would you like a lend of my lures?
  1.  
  2. Sorry, I don’t eat barramundi.
  1. Let’s just park further away and walk from there. 
  2.                                                          
  3. Mate, you definitely shouldn't tamper with that croc trap
      
40. I can’t believe how little that coffee cost.
 
41. I think my council rates are calculated fairly.
 
42. I can’t believe how quickly they brought out my meal
 
43. I think I’ll buy a smaller, more economical car.
 
44. No, I don’t have a spare stubbie cooler.
 
45. We won’t need insect repellent.
 
46. I’m worried my dog is going to maul someone.
 
47. The bread will be fine outside of the fridge.
 
49. I really enjoy working at the Health Department.
 
50. That petrol is quite reasonably-priced.
  
I’m uncertain if my outboard is in reliable condition,
perhaps we should give fishing a miss this long weekend.
53. It’s too early in the morning to start drinking.
 
55. You can always trust the NT News.